Shaving Cream lyrics

Artist  : Paul Wynn 
Song : Shaving Cream
 


I have a sad story to tell you.
It may hurt
your feelings a bit.
Last night when I walked
into my bathroom,
I stepped in a big pile of
...

Shaving cream, be nice and
clean.
Shave everyday and you'll always look
keen.
[This chorus is repeated after every
verse.]

I think I'll break off with my
girlfriend.
Her antics are queer I'll
admit.
Each time I say, "Darling, I love
you,"
She tells me that I'm full of
...

Our baby fell out of the
window.
You'd think that her head would be
split.
But good luck was with her that
morning;
She fell in a barrel of ...

An
old lady died in a bathtub;
She died from a
terrible fit.
In order to fulfill her
wishes,
She was buried in six feet of
...

When I was in France with the
army,
One day I looked into my kit.
I
thought I would find me a sandwich,
But the
darn thing was loaded with ...

And now,
folks, my story is ended.
I think it is time I
should quit.
If any of you feel
offended,
Stick your head in a barrel of
...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Version
2 (Use same chorus):

A demented song I will
sing you,
A classic of poetry and wit.
Last
night while I was in my bathroom,
I stepped in
a pile of

I asked to come out and play
baseball
I'd just bought a new catchers'
mitt;
I asked you to throw me a
fastball
but you threw me a big lump
of

Here we are in this fine health food
restaurant.
I hate to be picking a nit.
But
waiter, I ordered your yogurt surprise,
And you
brought me a plate full of

Last night we
all had a big snowstorm,
And it's time to
shovel, isn't it?
Now the only good thing I
can say about shoveling snow,
Is, it's better
than shoveling

They built a big wall in
East Berlin.
The biggest one that would
fit.
But I found out what that Berlin wall was
made of.
Well the whole thing was nothing
but

I put all my money in savings,
So
I'd never have to worry, not a bit.
But you
see, it was Lincoln Savings,
Now my money is
all shot to

I once went out to the
ballpark
To try out my new catchers mit,
I
asked them to throw me a fast ball,
But
instead they threw me some..

Once while I
was at the ball game,
The batter smashed out a
hit.
But while he was running for second,
He
slipped in a big pile of..

Here we are in
this fancy French restruant,
And I hate to be
picking a bit,
But I ordered creamed
fishie-soi
And the waiter brought me a bowl
of..

Our producer looks good in the
morning,
I'll tell you what makes him so
fit,
Instead of using cold cream,
He rubs
in a big handful of..

Last Saturday I went
out jogging,
I like to keep physically
fit,
But when I looked down at my
Reeboks,
Well, the soles were all covered with
{Dr. D:Where Rover goes,
nothing
grows!}

Let's have a cheer for
our Raiders!
They're truly a team with true
grit,
But when they fumbled that kickoff in
the second half this afternoon,
Ten million
fans, in unison, said, "Oh,... {Dr. D: "And one
for the
Rams!"}

Now the Rams, they are
going to Chicago,
But the Bears are the
oddsmakers' favorite,
Now, Chicago is
beautiful in October,
But in January it's
colder than ...

Here we are in this
Mexican restaurant,
I hate to be picking a
nit,
But waiter, I ordered "El Burrito
Supremo,"
And you brought me a plate full of
...

I am fed up with all
politicians!
On Republicans and Democrats I
spit!
They promise you peace and prosperity
and a good job,
And what do they give you?
...

Our Christmas tree, it was so
gorgeous,
So brightly and brilliantly
lit,
And underneath were all of my
presents!
Yeah, boxes and boxes of ... {Dr. D:
"Just kidding, folks!"}

I was laughing so
hard at this music,
I thought that my sides
they would split,
I stopped laughing just now,
however
'Cause my pants just filled up with
...

My program was nearly completed,
In
640K it did fit,
But then I wrote "just one
more feature,"
And my program was blown all to
...

I went swimming in beautiful Lake
Ontario
I thought I would cool off a
bit
But when I stepped out of the
water
Yech - my body was covered in
...

I bought a computer by mail...
It
arrived at my door in a kit.
But although I
followed instructions,
I ended up with a box
full of ...

I was reading the BITNET one
day...
Full of rumors, flames and
quips
Instead of being educated
All I got
was a queue full of ...

I went out last
night to the opera,
I thought I'd relax for a
bit.
But when I sat down in my box seat
I
found it was covered with...

I thought I
would make me some tie-dyes
And bought many
boxes of Rit.
But after I dyed all my
T-shirts
They all were the color
of...

My in-laws came over to
visit,
But left in a terrible snit
Because
I suggested for dinner
That they should have
plates full of...

And now, folkes, my
song, it is ended,
I do hope that you will
admit,
That if any of you feel offended
You
can stick your head in a bucket of