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 Rate Lizards
Artist : Phish
Song : Lizards
Passing through the corridor I came upon an aging
knight
Who leaned against the wall in gnarly armor
He was on his way to see the king
Wilson
Wilson
Wilson
He led me through the streets of prussia talking
As he tried to crush a bug that scurried
underneath his bootheel
He said there was a place where we should go
So he lead me through the forest to the edge of a
lagoon by which
We wandered ’til we reached a bubbly spring
The knight grew very quiet as we stood there
Then he lifted up his visor and he turned to me
and he began to sing
Chorus:
He said I come from the land of darkness
I said I come from the land of doom
He said I come from the land of gamehendge
From the land of the big baboon
But I’m never never going back there
And I couldn’t if I tried
’cause I come from the land of lizards
And the lizards they have died
And the lizards they have died
And the lizards they have died
And the lizards they have died
He told me that the lizards were a race of people
practically extinct
From doing things smart people don’t do
He said that he was once a lizard too
His name was rutherford the brave and he was on a
quest to save
His people from the fate that lay before them.
Their clumsy end was perilously near
The lizards would be saved, he said, if they
could be enlightened
By the writings of the helping friendly book
In all of prussia only one existed
And wilson had declared that any person who
possessed it was a crook
[chorus]
The helping friendly book, it seemed, possessed
the ancient secrets
Of eternal joy and never-ending splendor
The trick was to surrender to the flow
We walked along beneath the moon
He lead us through the bush ’till soon
We saw before our eyes a raging river
He said that we could swim it if we tried
And saying this the knight dove in forgetting
that his suit of arms
Would surely weigh him down and so he sunk
And as his body disappeared before me
I bowed my head in silence and remembered all
thoughts that he had thunk
[chorus]
But rutherford and forbin weren’t alone. and
suddenly an unexpected movement caught his eye.
on the far side of the river he saw a shaggy
creature standing in the weeds who stared across
at forbin with an unrelenting gaze. a gigantic
mass of muscles and claws. the hideous beast
reared back and hurled himself in the water and
swam toward the region where rutherford lay. and
in a flash, the beast was gone, underneath the
surface to the frosty depths below while forbin,
bewildered, waited alone. the seconds dragged by
in what seemed like hours till finally the
colonel felt it all had been a dream. defeated,
he bowed his head then turned to go. suddenly
with a roar, the creature emerged before him and
held the brave knight’s body to the sky. and the
creature laid the knight upon the shore. and the
colonel fell beside his friend in prayer that
he’d survive. and rutherford, brave rutherford
was alive.
Forbin and the unit monster were crouched over
the soggy knight carefully removing his bulky
helmet when the colonel heard a sound behind him.
he turned around and came face to face with an
enormous shaggy horse-like creature covered from
head to tail with alternating blotches of brown
and white. it was a two-toned multi-beast, and
atop the multi-beast sat the most beautiful woman
the colonel had ever seen. after fifty-two years
of undaunted bachelorhood, the colonel felt a
feeling rush over him as he had never felt
before.
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