Jerry springer lyrics

Artist  : Weird al yankovich 
Song : Jerry springer
 
It's been one week since we got to see
Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry
Five days since they had the show
With the hermaphrodite, the slut, and the crack
ho
Three days since we heard the tale
About the guy who learned his woman was a
she-male
Yesterday it occurred to me
That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry
Springer

Holy cow, d'you see it last week?
Well, they had this one freak
Who sucker-punched his whole family
Do you recall when the brawl
Became a total free-for-all
And Jerry's in the middle tryin' to be the
referee
Hey, see the stripper with the implants
She likes to lap dance
And date the boyfriend of her mother
Now here come's Jerry's next guest
And it's a slugfest
'Cause it's her trailer trash brother
Nymphomaniac is back on crack
It's like "When Animals Attack"
They all exhibit reprehensible behavior
Hit 'em in the nose, tear off their clothes
Step on their toes, that's how it goes
They get so violent they have to sign a waiver

They're always swearin', cursin', kickin' butt,
and pointin' blame
On the air? They don't care, they've got no shame
There was one guy who I'm sure felt a little
strange
When he found out that his wife had a sex change
They have a tendency to scream and yell
constantly
They have a history of ripping off their shirts

It's been one week since they had the fight
With the Siamese twins and the transvestite
Five days since that awsulf brawl
They still haven't got the blood off the wall
It's been three days since the bitter fued
Between the KKK and that gay Jewish black dude
Yesterday, finally dawned on me
I'm spendin' way too much time on that Jerry
Springer

[Guy Guest :] Baby, I've been sleepin'
with your sister
[Gal Guest :] Oh? Well, which one?
[Guy Guest :] All of them
[Gal Guest :] Oh! Well, I've been sleepin'
with your best friend Jake!
[Guy Guest :] Yah? Well, well me too!
[Gal Guest :] Oh!
[Guy Guest :] And I've sleepin' with your
dog Woofie!
(barking)
[Gal Guest :] Woofie, you b-tch!
[Gal Guest :] Well, I'm also sleepin' with
your pet goat!
(baaahhing)
[Guy Guest :] That goat doesn't love you!

Once you start watchin', there's just no stoppin'
Your brain shuts down, then your IQ's droppin'
Jerry's the king of confrontation
He's a sensation
He puts the 'sin' in syndication
It's totally worthless, like a bad check
It's like a train wreck
Don't wanna stare but you can't look away
Like Sally Jesse he does talk shows
But with more weirdos
The ratings jumpin' higher everyday
If you've seen the show, well then you know
It's just as low as you can go
The guests are tacky and they're lacking in their
hygiene
And pretty soon some ugly goon
Comes in the room and then it's BOOM
In the face of some unsuspecting drag queen

Well it's the kind of show where people scream
obscenities
Yankin' hair, throwin' chairs at their hubbies
"Jerry! Jerry!" Now the crowd starts their
favorite chant
Should I turn off my TV? I just can't
I have a tendency to watch it religiously
I have a history of taping each one

It's been one week since the show about
Psycho killers with problems they should work out
Five days since the big surprise
When some loser's wife said she's shtill dating
twenty guys
Three days wince he interviewed
A bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all
nude
Yesterday, it occurred to me
That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry
Springer
Tired of wastin' my time on that Jerry Springer
I've got way too much class to watch Jerry
Springer
Come over here and pull on my finger