Crazy Rap lyrics

Artist  : Afroman 
Song : Crazy Rap



 Send "Crazy Rap" Ringtone to your Cell 

 

(Wait a minute, man. Hey, check this out, tell
it. It was this blind man, right?
Man, check
this out- it was this blind man, right?
He was
feelin' his way down the street with this stick,
right?
Hey. He walked past this fish market,
you know what I'm sayin'?
He stopped, he took
a deep breath, he said,
Woooooo, good morning,
ladies.
You like that shit, man? Hey, man, I
got a gang of that shit, man.
I tell you what-
my man on the guitar, fool on the
drums,
everybody just crowd around the mic,
I'll tell you all these mutha-fuckin'
jokes.
But first, I'ma start it off like this.
Hey, help me sing it, homeboy.)
Colt 45 and two
Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
We can go to
the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And
as the marijuana burns we can take our turns,
singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the
bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here
to Hong Kong.
So roll, roll, roll my joint.
Pick out the seeds and stems.
Feelin' high as
hell flyin' through Palmdale, skatin' on Dayton
rims.
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de
Ville.
If my tapes and my cds just don't sell,
I bet my caddy will.

Well it was just
sundown in a small white town. They call it
Eastside Palmdale.
When the Afroman walked
through the white land, houses went up for
sale.
Well, I was standin' on the corner
sellin' rap cds when I met a little girl named
Jan.
I let her ride in my Caddy cause I didn't
know her daddy was the leader of the Klu Klux
Klan.
We fucked on the bed, fucked on the
flo', fucked so long, I grew a fuckin'
afro.
Then I fucked to the left, fucked to the
right. She sucked my dick 'til the shit turned
white.
I thought to myself, Sheba, Sheba! Got
my ass lookin' like a ZEBRA!
I pulled on my
clothes and I was on my way, until her daddy
pulled up in a Chevrolet.
I ran. I jumped out
the back window, but her daddy, he was waitin'
with a 2 x 4.
Oh, he beat me to the left, he
beat me to the right. The mutha-fucker whooped my
ass all night.
But I ain't mad at her
prejudiced dad, that's the best damn pussy I ever
had.
I got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine.
I'm a fuck that bitch just one more
time.

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby
that's all we need.
We can go to the park
after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the
marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing
them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong
like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to
Hong Kong.
So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick
out the seeds and stems.
Feelin' high as hell
flyin' through Palmdale, skatin' on Dayton
rims.
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de
Ville.
If my tapes and my cds just don't sell,
I bet my caddy will.

I met this lady in
Hollywood. She had green hair, but damn she
looked good.
I took her to my house, cause she
was fine, but she whipped out a dick that was
bigger than mine.
I met this lady from Japan,
never made love with an African.
I fucked her
once, I fucked her twice. I ate that pussy like
shrimp fried rice.
Don't be amazed at the
stories I tell ya. I met a woman in the heart of
Australia.
Had a big butt and big titties,
too, so I hopped in her ass like a
kangaroo.
See, I met this lady from Hawaii.
Stuck it in her ass, and she said,
Aiiiiieeee!
Lips was breakfast, pussy was
lunch, then her titties busted open with Hawaiian
Punch.
Met Colonel Sander's wife in the state
of Kentucky. She said, I'll fry some chicken if
you just fuck me.
I came in her mouth. It was
a crisis. I gave her my secret blend of herbs and
spices.

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby
that's all we need.
We can go to the park
after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the
marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing
them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong
like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to
Hong Kong.
Hey, wait a minute man, check this
out.

I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee. Her
titties were filled with Hennesy.
That country
music nearly drove me crazy, but I rode that ass
and said, Yes, Miss Daisy!
Met this lady in
Oklahoma; put that pussy in a coma.
Met this
lady in Michigan; I can't wait 'til I fuck that
bitch again.
Met a real black girl in South
Carolina; fucked her 'til she turned into a white
albino.
Fucked this hooker in Iowa. I fucked
her on credit, so I owe her.
Fucked this girl,
down in Georgia; came in her mouth. Man, I thought
I told ya.
Met this beautiful sexy ho; she just
ran cross the border of Mexico.
Fine young
thing, said her name's Maria. I wrapped her up
just like a Hot Tortilla.
I wanna get married,
but I can't afford it. I know I'ma cry when she
gets deported.

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags,
baby that's all we need.
We can go to the park
after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the
marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing
them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong
like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to
Hong Kong.

Have you ever went over to a
girl's house to fuck, but the pussy just ain't no
good? (SAY WHAT?)
And then you're getting'
upset cause you can't get her wet, plus you in
the wrong neighborhood?
So you try to play it
off and eat the pussy, but it takes her so long
to come (SAY WHAT?)
Then a dude walks in.
That's her big boyfriend, and he asks you where
you from? (Where you from, man?)
So you wipe
your mouth, and you try to explain (I don't
bang.), you start talkin' real fast.
But he's
already mad, cause you fuckin' his wife, so he
starts beatin' on your ass.
Now your clothes
all muddy, your nose all bloody, your dick was
hard but now it's soft. (WHUT?)
You thought
you had a girl to rock your world, now you still
gotta go jack off.

Colt 45 and two Zig
Zags, baby that's all we need.
We can go to
the park after dark, smoke that
tumbleweed.
[fade out]