Answering Machine Song lyrics

Artist  : Monty Python 
Song : Answering Machine Song
 


If you want to leave a message after the
tone
Then speak clearly and I'll call you when
I'm home
Just say your words and say your
name
Leave the time and date you called
And
I'll get back to you
Unless you're completely a
boring old fart

If you want to leave a
message after the tone
And darling, please
forgive me, I'm not home
I'm out shopping or
trying to buy a dress
So please leave your
message, unless you're in distress

Please
leave a message after the tone
I'm so sorry
this is taking me so long
I hope you're not
calling from Australia
Or far from
Singapore
Or this whole thing is costing you a
fortune
As well as being a
bore

(sobbing) Leave a message, please
leave me a message after the tone
Because ...
alright I am! I am home! I am, I am, I am!
I'm
locked up in the bathroom all alone
Please
leave a-me a message after the tone.