Seven-inch Cowboy lyrics

Artist  : Pain 
Song : Seven-inch Cowboy



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I’m a seven-inch cowboy
With a tiny
pair of six guns.
Five’ll get you
ten,
I betcha never seen one.
Well
I’m a seven inch cowboy
How do you
be?
And I’m used to people gawking and
a-staring at me
But I wasn’t always so
gol-darned wee
Let me tell you my story,

You can listen for free.

For seven
long years, 
Now that’s a year for
every inch I stand
I’ve traveled small
and lonely down the byways of this giant
land
Like a country western Lilliputian too
afraid to stop
I’m at the bottom of the
food chain whereas I once was at the top.
I
wandered on foot, my horse had done abandoned
me
And every town I come to’s like a
terrible dream
The other cowboys mocked me and
spit tobacco like meteors
Watching me dodge
‘em and laughing at my small squeaky
scream
I went to a saloon to get a
drink
They wouldn’t serve me
They
stuffed me in a glass and slid me up and down the
bar
And all the barroom women gathered round
and had their way with me
They sang a song
both cold and mean
‘Cause that’s
how women are,
They sang, 

“A man
can pan for gold and strike it rich and be a
millionaire
Or ride the rodeo and be the best
one at it anywhere.
Drive a brand new car, be
a movie star
Size is all that counts, and
there you are.�

And I’m a
seven-inch cowboy
With a tiny pair of six guns

Five’ll get you ten
I bet you never
seen one

(Yodeling)

Now as you can
imagine, I’d grown pretty
bitter
(Although that’s the only way in
which I had grown)
And in that seventh year I
finally found my transgressor,
The man who had
shrunk me, the worst fiend I’d ever
known.
The mad Professor Mentley was his name
and I drew near
I hopped upon his shoulder and
I grabbed him by the ear
I held my little
pistols up and I told ‘im, “Look
a-here!
You made me this way,  it’s
time you pay,  you gol-darned queer!�
And
the professor said, “Wait!  Wait! 
Now
you know me,  and I know you
And you know that
strange experiments are just what I
do
It’s less like a pastime and more
like a job
Why if I didn’t do it,
I’d be an unemployed slob
Now I know
that won’t suffice if I’m to set
you at ease
But I’m thinking as fast as
I can for a man who’s down on his
knees
And just this passing moment I had a
thought, here’s what I thunk, I
thought,
‘Where would you be today if
you hadn’t’ve shrunk?’

Just another nameless cowboy, a mediocre
bumpkin
Riding in the sun, skin burnt the
color of a pumpkin
Reviled by the ladies,
ridiculed by other men,
Nothing to set you
apart nor would there ever have been
Then I
came along, yes ME, Professor Mentley!
I gave
you a gift! (though you weren’t grateful
evidently)
I plucked you from your average
status, I made you unique
You’re a
seven-inch cowboy, not a six foot freak.
From
every corner of the globe folks will come to
adore you
Nations will bow and throw their
riches before you
You’ll be diminutive
in stature, but a titan inside
Because I, your
true friend, chose to stand by your
side.�

Now I cogitated on the words
Professor Mentley shared
And I wondered if
perhaps he only said ‘em ‘cause he
was scared
My guns were weighin’ heavy
in my hands, my heart was low
When suddenly
some old advice came to me soft and
slow:

Well my pop told me it don’t
matter where a fella goes
You can sail through
icy straights and misty archipelagoes.
Travel
to the moon,  orbit every star
Size
don’t really count and there you
are.

And I’m a seven-inch cowboy
(seven inches tall)
With a tiny pair of six
guns (That’s mighty damn
small)
Five’ll get you ten (For all you
bettin’ men)
You’ll never see
another one (yeah!)
I guess Professor Mentley
had a point although I shot him
anyway
There’s never been a gentleman
like me and that is safe to say
Well,
I’ve thought real long and hard, so hard
my brain is numb
Now I say Hollywood
(Hollywood!), Hollywood (Hollywood!)
Hollywood
here I come!