The Goat lyrics

Artist  : Sandler Adam 
Song : The Goat



 Send "The Goat" Ringtone to your Cell 

 												
														   I am a simple goat

 I live on the back of a pick-up truck

 The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope

 Am I happy he don't give a fuck

 He's filled with anger, and filled with rage

 

 And tells me I smell like piss

 His drink, Jimmy Bean

 His chaser, a bear

 After that, various alcohols

 That's when the beatings get so severe

 

 Asleep I pray he falls

 But don't feel sorry for me

 Things weren't always this bad

 Why, when I was a young talking goat

 The Old Man was just like my dad

 

 I come from the hills of Europe

 That's where I met the Old Man

 He was lost in the woods, I gave him
directions

 He gave me a tuna can

 

 Then he stopped in his tracks

 And he said, "Hey Goat!

 Would you like to live with me?

 I've got a house with a pick-up truck

 In a place across the sea"

 I said, "Sure, why not, I've got no family

 You seem like a nice guy"

 

 So we went off to America

 The home of the apple pie

 On the boat, the Old Man told me

 I would be a present for his wife

 "A talking goat!" he exclaimed,

 "She'd never seen this in her life"

 I felt so special!

 

 Well, I just couldn't believe it

 After all theses years I finally had a friend

 He trimmed my beard

 He scraped my hooves

 I prayed it would never end

 

 But when we got to his house

 There was no wife

 Only a short, short letter

 It said: "I'm leaving you for your broher

 Because he fucks me better"

 His eyes filled with tears of sadness

 His heart was filled with grief

 

 To soothe himself he drank a pint of Old
Granddad

 And beat me like a side of beef

 I screamed, "Send me back to the hills of
Europe!"

 He just shook his head and said, "Nope!

 No one will ever leave me again

 To make sure, put on this 3-foot fucking
rope."

 

 Present day, I've been on the truck for 51
years

 My only friend is the AM radio

 Sometimes the neighborhood children stop by

 But it's always rocks and beer bottles they
throw

 

 At first they're excited to see a talking
goat

 They gather around to hear what I have to say

 But I guess sometimes my stories go ont too
long

 So they leave and giggle I need a bidet

 

 But you know there was a night that I did get
off the truck

 When the Old Man was passed out drunk

 Three neightborhood kids took me to a rock 'n
roll concert

 The kind of music, old-school funk

 It was the first time I got off the truck

 The music made me lose control

 

 The lead singer asked if we were having fun

 I said, "Fucking crank that rock 'n roll!"

 The women at the show were beautiful

 As they danced sexily on the soft grass

 One of them even petted my fur

 Fuck me in the goat-ass!

 

 Then some long-haired guys grabbed me by the
horns

 And threw me in the mosh pit

 They passed me around and treated me nie

 Till I nerviously sprayed them with shit

 Then the music stopped

 And everything was quite

 And all the rock 'n rollers started a fucking
goat-riot

 

 Kill the goat!

 Kill the goat!

 Kill the goat!

 Kill the goat!

 

 They chased me under the bleachers

 They chased me onto the street

 They chased me into an alley

 And said I was a dead fucking goat meat

 But then I saw a sight

 That I never thought I'd see

 

 The Old Man swinging his hickory stick

 But he wasn't swinging at me

 "Fuck you, pot-smoking turkeys!

 Don't you press your luck!"

 

 The long hairs ran away screaming

 As I scrambled onto the truck

 When we got home, the Old Man said,

 "Goat, you broke the sacred law

 No! Please! Sorry! Shit!

 I'll let it go this time, but if you leave
again

 I'll break your fucking jaw!"

 Super! Great! Okay!

 

 "Thank you Old Man, for saving my life

 Thank you again and again

 You could have let them barbeque me,

 But you acted like a friend"

 

 "I'm not your friend, I don't even like you

 I'm just not drunk," he said

 To prove his point, he drank a bottle of grain
alcohol

 And beat the fucking shit out of my tailbone

 And I'll probably never walk straight again

 

 I guess you'd call me a scapegoat

 A punching bag for the Old Man to mock

 Just because his wife left him

 For his brother's abnormally large cock

 

 He could have been my buddy

 But instead he's a crazy old fuck

 And, once again, I go to sleep in my eternal
home

 The back of the pick-up truck

 

 Goodnight, Old Man!

 Yeah, goodnight Goat!